Tuesday, 14 September 2010

For Science. A Poem.

[I just spent an hour on this... I do have a life! But sadly I forgot to make a save point. How many quotes/misquotes can you spot? Critiques are welcome! You can also try and answer the quiz about the quotes on this page: For Science: The Geekiest Poem Ever]

I live my life free of compromise
So I am wary of Google
Because its answers weigh less
Than its operating manual..

I find the world inconceivable
I aim to misbehave for science
And promote people to the level
Of their incompetence

Noah's ark is a problem.
The lies are inside my head
And I'm all out of gum
So bring out your dead

For science.

But Han shot first so the cube could live
Now when I offer cake
It is actually some sort of delicious biscuit
So please don't panic.

The world needs hope right now but
This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face.
Gunpowder treason has been forgot
And fear is the little-death that condemns this place

It's dangerous out there, so
If I know kung-fu, I don't have to dodge bullets.
Watch how I soar, and step into the shadows
Without complaint or regrets.

For science.

There is no Earthly way of knowing
If the cake is truly inconceivable
Or if winter is really coming
Or where your towel is right now

It's dangerous to go alone!
Together we need to go deeper
We're going to need a bigger boat
And let the harvest hope for the reaper

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing
So we must put our differences behind us
Take up hokey religions and ancient weapons
Learn the air-speed velocity and use the force

For science.

Our existence deforms the universe
So one of us should say goodbye
And it shouldn't be me because
I am just too pretty to die

I will not go gently into that good night
It is pitch black and the road
Goes ever on and on, until i am out of sight
In a maze of twisty passages, all alike.

I must live long and prosper
And be a leaf on the wind, not be eaten by a grue
You may have killed my father
So don't go to sleep or the kittens will eat you

For science.

I curse your sudden
But inevitable betrayal
But you gained nothing
the princess is in another castle!

You have sent a machine
To do a human's job
In against a Sicilian
When death is on the line!

I have beaten your artificial intelligence
With real stupidity
Luckily on the subject of kneecaps
The Bible is somewhat fuzzy

I have owned all your bases
And in the darkness bound them
I really must apologise
For the inconvenience.

For science.

I said "I may be dead but I'm still pretty,
Which is more than I can say for you."
This has made a lot of people very angry
And has been widely regarded as a bad move

Most people want things like a candle-flame
But you don't have to be a gun
Although Vera is a hokey name
I'm never gonna give you up

My baggage doesn't try and kill me every five minutes
Although the pattering of hundreds of little feet
Still makes me nervous and
If your life had a face, I would punch it.

For science.

It is very cold in space, I fear
And my god, it's full of stars
I can see your house from up here
Just me and the world. And Mars.

The existence of life is
A highly overrated phenomenon.
For three years I had roses
And apologized to no one.

Practice the art of spannungsbogen
And arrive precisely when you mean to
Until you get to nine thousand and one.
Then divide by cheese error and reboot

For science.

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