The Night The Reindeer Died (Venison Pie)

To be sung in the tune of 'American Pie' by Don McLean. Video at end. Randomly inspired by forum thread - apparently 'The Night The Reindeer Died' is a tv show previewed in the comedy movie Scrooged.

A long winter ago...
I can still remember
How the reindeer used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those reindeer prance
...And, maybe, they’d fly faster for a while.

The sleighbells make me shiver
with every present they deliver
Bad news down the chimney
Coming straight towards me

......I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about his stuffed, skinned hide
But something touched me deep inside
the night... the reindeer died

So bye-bye, my reindeer in the sky.
Flew my old sleigh to the rooftop,
But the roof it was dry.
And that good old deer was eatin’ carrots and rye
Now knowin', "this’ll be the day he'll die.
..."this’ll be the day that he dies."

Did you write to Santa Claus,
And do you have faith he'll bring rewards,
If your parents tell you so?
Do you believe in the sleigh's flight,
Can reindeer bring your gifts tonight,
...And can you teach me how to stop getting coal?

Well, I know that you wanted to eat him
`cause I saw you watch salivating
You watched and licked your lips
Whispered 'venison' when his hoof slips

He was a lonely teenage broncin’ buck
With a great red nose and not a lotta luck
Until the day he was hit by a truck
The day the reindeer died.

I started thinkin',
"bye-bye, my venison pie."
Flew my old sleigh to the vet's roof,
But the roof it was dry.
And that good old deer was bringing tears to my eye
Now knowin', "this’ll be the day he'll die.
..."this’ll be the day that he dies."

Now for ten years we’ve been on our own
And moss grows fat on a sleigh of stone,
But that’s not how it used to be.
When the reindeer led us safe through the mist
With a nose so bright and flight so swift
And presents that came for you and me,

Oh, and while the judge was looking down,
The lawyers stole his weighty frown.
The courtroom was adjourned;
No verdict was returned.
Though witnesses sang like angry larks
The team flew off over the park,
Sleighbells rang dirges in the dark
The day the reindeer died.

And they were singing,
"bye-bye, my venison pie."
Flew my old sleigh to the vet's roof,
But the roof it was dry.
And that good old deer was bringing tears to my eye
Singin', "this’ll be the day he'll die.

Helter skelter in a winter swelter.
The deer flew off without any shelter,
Eight miles high and falling fast.
He landed foul on the grass.
The driver behind him tried to pass,
While the sleigh crashed on the pavement with a blast.

Now the winter air was sweet perfume
While the sleighbells crashed a rambling tune.
He stood his ground with a prance,
Oh, but to help there was no chance!
`cause the carhorns honked and tires squealed;
The idiot deer refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the reindeer died?

And they were singing,
"bye-bye, my venison pie."
Flew my old sleigh to the vet's roof,
But the roof it was dry.
And that good old deer was bringing tears to my eye
Singin', "this’ll be the day he'll die.

Oh, and there we were all in one place,
A team of reindeer lost in space
With no time left to start again.
So come on: deer be nimble, deer be quick!
Rudolph's leg broke like a stick
And roadkill is a terrible way to end

Oh, and as I watched him turn the page
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No person meaning well
Could foil that roasting smell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite,
I saw children laughing with delight
The day the reindeer died

And they were singing,
"bye-bye, my venison pie."
Flew my old sleigh to the vet's roof,
But the roof it was dry.
And that good old deer was bringing tears to my eye
Singin', "this’ll be the day he'll die.

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some carols too,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I hauled open the old barn door
Where I’d seen reindeer years before,
But the man there said the reindeer wouldn’t fly.

And in the streets: the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The sleigh bells all were broken.
And the three gifts I wanted most:
Faded from my stocking like a ghost,
They'd been on the last sleigh for the coast
The day the reindeer died.

And they were singing,
"bye-bye, my venison pie."
Flew my old sleigh to the vet's roof,
But the roof it was dry.
And that good old deer was bringing tears to my eye
Singin', "this’ll be the day he'll die.

And they were singing,
"bye-bye, my venison pie."
Flew my old sleigh to the vet's roof,
But the roof it was dry.
And that good old deer was bringing tears to my eye
Singin', "this’ll be the day he'll die.
..."this’ll be the day that he dies